January 2006

Again, in 1993, I think Amy Holte was the inspiration for this one:

Avoid my chaos and fuck me not!
For with many contradictions I am fraught…
Whatever you give,
You will certainly lose,
Pity me so,
I love while I use.

I think this is my own harshest internal criticism in writing. Or at least I hope that’s all it is/was. I knew that I was needy. But what to do? You can’t make yourself unneedy. And just like “not drinking” doesn’t cure the alcoholic… abstinance from affection doesn’t… well, you know.

– Chad

There is a discussion group on Tribe.net called “Give Icke the Mic”, and I posted this in response to someone asking if David Icke is “reptillian”:

Re: Is David Icke a Lizzy??? Complexity of motivations:

By the very fact that we all are here, is a testament to the idea that we share something in our soul so common, that we overlook the fact that we share it. We have a common motivation… most mammals. We have a basic instinct as we live, to be “good little mammals”. And we are very mammalian-centric in our understanding of the motives of other life-forms.
What I’m saying, is, that it will be difficult for us to understand the motivations of other races, and that we *can’t* understand their motivations, until we find what we have in common with alien/ets/othe races. And what we have in common may be things we don’t yet know how to describe, even within ourselves. It’s a little like asking a fish to describe water, and then asking said fish to expound on what he thinks other creatures swim in… when we know that not all creatures even swim, and some even fly.
I think that when we finally do have contact with our reptilian counterparts, we fill ascribe very simple, mammalian-centric motives to them…. and be confused when our understandings don’t predict their actions.
So, David Icke could be a very benevolant reptile… or something like that. He could be very benevolant, but still he might have motivations that would give us the heebee-jeebees. All sharks are benevolant… until they bite your leg off… and what if it was a leg that had bone cancer, and he did you a favor?
I think, from the standpoint of causality, that at the top of the pyramid of motivations of races and individuals, is the idea that a soul’s “orientation” filters through its physical body’s neurobiological disposition. By orientation, I mean that all souls recognizable by us can be said to be more or less either self-serving, or trying to “help his fellow man”. I’m not the first to say this… I read this in “The Law of One” (a channelled piece by RA. I don’t make a habit of referencing channeled material, but I must say it makes a lot of sense in this case).
Reptiles would certainly have a different take on how to help your fellow man, versus a mammal, because we have very different brains. It could become very complicated from there… reptiles whose brains had evolved to be very mammalian… Mammals with over-active medula-oblongotas…
You guys still with me here on this????
I’ll eventually get around to telling you the stories behind my ideas, and that will be more useful than my conclusions.
Time for me to go and be a good little mammal now…

– Chad May

Hope Against All Odds

It is within the unexplained that we are most likely to find solutions for the unsolvable. Such is but one of the values of Humanity pursuing the exploration and understanding of phenomena.
Sometimes, I begin to become negative about the future of Earth and Its Humans. But I tell myself to have hope. Don’t give up on the idea of Utopia. It’s always coldest before the dawn, right? Either way, it doesn’t help to be fatalistic. But it does help to be realistic.