How to undertand someone:

Step 1: Think of what you think you know of that person… take inventory of your understanding of them.

Step 2: Keeping in mind what you think you understand about them… now assume that your understanding is seriously innaccurate.

Step 3: Ask questions of them that attempts to find what it is about your understanding of them that is innaccurate. Be slow. Don’t assume you understand their answers. Check to see that you do.

Step 4: Enjoy feeling less lonely

Additionally, I like to say that you don’t really understand someone until you could explain them to their own children, should that ever be necessary.